Thursday, October 18, 2012

Long Distance Relationship??

Here i am.
Doing Long distance relationship.
And i dont know when it will stop. Happy or Sad Ending? Dont know exactly. The reality is enjoy the way it is, he said.
Well, yeah you know, this is my first time doing a relationship like this. Before? hmm, actually i prefer having close friend (in this context: boy) to boyfriend (read: pacar ). Before it, i prefer to make him as my friend than my boyfriend #inggrisku mawut -___-" I always refuse my friend who want me to be his girlfriend. Its not because he is my friend. No. Its because at first i think we're not mature enough to have this kind of relationship. Second, there some reason i dont like from him, of course with a lots of  reason why i like him. I am not looking perfect person, but there some behaviour that i dont like from him, such a complain all the time when he text or call me, think that he's the unlucky people, and etc. Wait, i talk about my old story about a guy who want me to be his girlfriend, not my new story (oke, inggrisku mulai absurd).


Oke, back to topic.
If u ask me why i doing this kind of relationship, well, i dont know how to answer it. At first when he ask me, i dont say i do. No, i dont say i agree with it. I still confuse that am i strong enough to face this weird relationship. I just say let it flow. Just it.
Weird relationship?
Yeah, little weird because i dont know when we will meet again. Absurd? of course.
Then if u think u still confuse, why u say let it flow, ntun??
Oke, sekarang ganti bahasa Indonesia aja yee.. :)
Jadi, kenapa ya aku ngomong kayak gitu? hmm. Pertama, oke, aku emang suka sama dia. Tapi aku gak tau ini beneran suka sebagai teman atau more than friend, kamu tahu lah. Kedua, usia kita beda jauh. 12 tahun. Di satu sisi, aku sih nyaman-nyaman aja kalo bicara ama dia, dewasa sesuai umurnya. Nyaman aja kalo ngobrol ngalor ngidul. Di sisi lain, sering minder aja, kenapa beda jauh. Ini kan yang buat jadi beda prioritasnya. Dia prioritasnya nyari pendamping, sedangkan aku? jujur sih, aku belum siap buat nikah. Umur masih 20an, masih pengen cari kerja dulu, maen-maen dulu.

Iya, kamu baik banget. Gak pernah sekalipun marah, sedangkan aku masih ababil begini. Dari kamu aku belajar buat gak ababil, gak moody. Sekarang sih udah 1 bulanan. Jujur sih, aku udah sayang. Namun, udah beberapa kali juga minta buat jadi temenan aja. Bukan karena aku suka sama cowok lain. Bukan karena itu. Tapi terkadang kangen itu menyesakkan. Sekedar ngobrol pun kian hari makin jarang, sms apalagi, ketemu terakhir bulan lalu. Ah, bikin kepengen ngiris bawang aja kalo keinget kamu.

Tapi kalo di logika nih ya, kita ini kayaknya hanya akan menambah luka semakin dalam saja. Semakin kita sayang, semakin dalam luka yang akan ditorehkan. Kamu entah kapan bisa ke sini, sedangkan aku nggak mungkin kan ke situ dengan alasan yang ah, lupakan.

Kamu tahu, perasaan itu seperti cuaca saat ini. Mudah berubah. Entah sampai kapan ego ini akan menuntun kita. Every beginning has the end. Saat aku berani memilikimu saat ini, suatu saat nanti aku pun harus berani merelakanmu. Sudahlah, kalau memang kita berjodoh, pasti dimudahkan jalannnya. 
:')

3 comments:

  1. lha iki lho sing gawe speechless tenan..

    Seneng2 karo terharu sithik saia..ternyata kancaku curhat'e nang kene to..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Feriiii... jadi saya harus bagemana inii? :')

      Delete
  2. Di jalani lah...
    g' perlu dipikirkan ckup djalanie dlu..

    ReplyDelete